Cognizant
Method:
hire
a lion ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him 65 Gobi to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
however give them the same amount 65 Gobi to eat
hire 200 more. and more .
TCS Method:
hire
a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
IBMs
method:
hire
a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour
he dies of unemployment
Syntel
Method:-
Hire
a Cat
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion.
MBT
Method:
hire
the lion,
make him take 14 tests and tell him that
if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex Method:
hire
a lion???oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flex cube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire
a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (Polaris) and reduce his allowance
lion dies from fear that tomorrow he might become a goat.
Polaris
Method :
hire
..sorry.purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings(instead of 9 AM change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT..
Capgemini
Method:
hire
a lion, give him a salary of a cat
the lion dies before joining.
Wipro
Method:
Hire
a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die receiving stupid mails all day..!!!
HUAWEI Method:
Hire
a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends
No time for food and family, automatically die
Accenture
Method:
Hire
a lion.
Take
his CAMS assignment 2 times a year followed by Performance appraisals.
Ask
him for lots of My Leanings on line
Send
him to Chennai/HYD/BLG;but yes dont give him/her his/her home town.
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time or Give him/her projects .
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls Only Attitude of HR
girls.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion if he is a Tiger or lion
THE
LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS
Method:
HIRE
A LION..
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE.
KING OF THE JUNGLE!J
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRAINING
.MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE:-)
This is
how software engineers die in India!!!
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